Music

The Song of the Summer… That You’ve Never Heard Of

ALL YOU SKINNY BITCHES…

you won’t like or understand this song so go ahead and move along. “All About That Bass” is the anthem for all of us thick booty types who can’t buy clothes online, loves the beach but hates swimsuits, or hyperventilates every time we go jean shopping. Case in point, last week when I went jean shopping and almost strangled my boyfriend with the jeans I couldn’t fit into… and there was a lot of them. But this song is everything! Finally… a song that speaks to us Chicken McNugget loving generation. It gives you confidence and pride! So what Sir Mix A Lot wrote his song about you… so what you sometimes have to wear a rubber band looped around the top button of your jeans and into the button hole… or that you own stock in Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food… YOU GOT THAT BASS – and you can SHAKE IT SHAKE IT. People don’t say, “Man, you know what? I wish that girl had a flatter ass.” They say, “Hot diggity thick thighs!!” (Okay, nobody probably says that either – but they should). So go ahead and continue to bring booty back! Stand up to all them skinny bitches – loud and proud- and ask them… can I have the rest of your food?

you’re welcome.

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